Life lessons part XXX

Posted by blix on September 04, 2021
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Life lessons part XXX: Sweet Sixteen Edition by W Blix

You’re in the Blix Zone!

600. Have a triple X old time!

599. Surf the net. There’s a lot of information there.

598. Express yourself

597. Send them to charm school.

596. Learn as little as you can. ‘Cause when you know things, people ask you to do things. And then, everyone starts coming to you with their problems.

595. You gotta roll with the punches to get to what’s real.

594. Make sure you have on a smashing blouse.

593. The epitome of white privilege is the luxury of believing that real communism has never been tried.

592. They can’t smell tequila on your breath on a video conference call.

591. The boy with the cold hard cash is always mister right.

590. There are two things we should always be 1. strong and 2. ready. When you are strong, you are always ready and when you are ready you usually realize that you are strong. Waiting for perfection is not an answer, one cannot say “I will be ready when I am perfect” because then you will never be ready, rather one must say “I am strong and I am ready just like this right now, how and who I am.

589. Find him fast. Kill him slow.

588. Anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.

587. If you are going to sin, sin against Odin, not the bureaucracy. Odin will forgive you but the bureaucracy won’t.

586. If you interrupt a wedding, the speech better be good.

585. He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life.

584. Book a one-way ticket to flavortown!

583. It doesn’t matter how many times you have failed to win it. The only thing that matters is winning it!

582. Some dance to remember, some dance to forget.

581. Kick some ass, get the girl, and try to look dope while you do it.

We live for this shit.

Life lessons part XXIX

Posted by blix on August 10, 2021
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Life lessons part XXIX by W Blix
Nineteen in the clip and one in the hole. W Blix is about to make some bodies turn cold…

 

580. Let your hatred Tromsø for fuel you.

579. It’s easier to fool someone than it is to convince them they’ve been fooled.

578. Real Gs move in silence like lasagna.

577. If you keep screaming your name, it forces the assailant to acknowledge you as a human.

576. Nothing good ever happens on a playground near the Vatican.

575. No guts, no glory!

574. Assert your dominance by putting a few decorative pillows in your husband’s truck.

573. Socialism, communism, and fascism are the political manifestations of unachievable ideals, carried to genocidal extremes.

572. When the thought of someone’s decapitated head upsets you, that is love.

571. A key component to enjoying free time is money.

570. Put the pussy on the chainwax!

569. If one avoids the hard sciences, college is pretty easy.

568. You can’t shampoo away sin.

567. America needs another big lake.

566. Live large.

565. LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!!!

564. Throwing acid is wrong, in some people’s eyes.

563. It is deeply satisfying to win a prize in front of a lot of people.

562. You gotta funk it up until it knocks you down. And when you’ve funked enough, make sure you pass it around.

561. Roll the dice. Feel the fear in your enemy’s eyes.
Hugs and kisses.

 

Life lessons part XXVIII

Posted by blix on March 15, 2021
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Life lessons part XXVIII by W Blix

We’ve got a blind date with Destiny… and it looks like she’s ordered the lobster.

560. Tromsø is trash.
559. It’s time to take out the trash.
558. When it’s sink or swim, you got to think to win.
557. No matter where you are going, you have to change planes in Atlanta.
556. The saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies.
555. Always identify yourself at the beginning of all phone calls.
554. The worst decisions make the best stories.
553. The world would not be in such a snarl, had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.
552. Leftovers are for quitters.
551. We are all self made, but only the rich will admit it.
550. Sing the songs that remind you of the good times. Sing the songs that remind you of the best times.
549. If you’ve seen the movie 300 more than once you’re gay.
548. Turn on, tune in, drop out.
547. Bureaucracy will destroy western civilization.
546. If you’re protesting against racism, you’re going to upset some racists.
545. Keep the talent happy!
544. If you make a grand gesture, you can get any girl you want.
543. To thrive in life you need three bones. A wish bone, a back bone, and a funny bone.
542. Dance until you stink.
541. Dare mighty things.

There’s a lot goin’ on

Royal

Posted by blix on February 21, 2021
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Royal by W Blix

Wishing Our dear King a very happy birthday!

King and Country!

Life lessons part XXVII

Posted by blix on January 23, 2021
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Life lessons part XXVII by W Blix

This here’s a jam for all the fellas…

540. Tromsø should be destroyed.
539. So much of writing is just figuring out chapter titles.
538. Ain’t no half steppin
537. Send in the clowns.
536. The main ingredient is sincerity. And once you learn to fake that? Baby, you’ve got it made.
535. Plebs are needed!
534. Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to shoot them.
533. There is nothing in socialism that a little age or a little money will not cure.
532. You cannot be wise and young.
531. Money can’t buy happiness. It IS happiness.
530. Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength and readiness to endure a difficult one.
529. True discipline come from within.
528. A man’s got to have a code.
527. It’s not a good song if it doesn’t have a good video.
526. Don’t sit in silence. Don’t live with fear.
525. Drinking is the only way to get through a marriage.
524. Dinner time. The perfect break between work and drunk.
523. Life is a game, you can’t afford to lose.
522. You gotta learn to dance before you learn to crawl
521. Command and conquer!

Hugs and kisses.

Life lessons part XXVI

Posted by blix on December 23, 2020
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Life lessons part XXVI by W Blix

Here’s to feelin’ good all the time.

520. Get some rubber duckies.

519. There’s more to life than making shallow, fairly obvious observations.

518. Weddings are a great place to meet chicks.

517. “We have to talk” are the four worst words in the english language.

516. Generally speaking, you don’t need any extra incentive to murder a dry cleaner.

515. Mother Nature’s a mad scientist.

514. Breaking up is like knocking over a Pepsi machine. You can’t do it in one push. You gotta rock it back and forth a few times, and then it goes over.

513. If you’ve got means and ability, that’s a pretty good combination.

512. You gotta have a buffer zone.

511. It’s not enough to get there. you gotta make good time.

510. It’s not the size of the opponent, it’s, the ferocity.

509. It’s tough keeping your feet dry when you’re kicking in a skull.

508. There’s nothing more pathetic than a grown man who’s afraid of a woman.

507. Everything comes down to toilet paper.

506. Scoring some big points with the man upstairs is what it’s all about.

505. Respect a good coma.

504. Appreciate the erotic qualities of the salted cured meats.

503. The toll road of denial is a long and dangerous one. The price? Your soul!

502. Swing with the best of them.

501. When the naysayers “nay” you pick up your pace. You say nothing’s going to stop Us so get out of Our face. We’re having adventures all over the place…

Serenity now!

Glory waits for no man

Posted by blix on November 23, 2020
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Glory waits for no man by W Blix

Bodø/Glimt has won the Elite Series for the first time in their 104 year history. This, of course, is the greatest achievement in the history of organized sports.

We have to admit We never thought We would see the day.

The football the boys have produced all season has been truly spectacular. Had it not been for the pandemic, they’d definitely won the Cup and the Europa League.

Hopefully they’ll perform even better next season.

An amazing time for all Glimt fans!

Victorious hugs and kisses.

Life lessons part XXV

Posted by blix on August 10, 2020
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Life lessons part XXV by W Blix

Do you have the time to listen to Us whine – about nothing and everything all at once?

500. People who support Tromsø Idrettslag are the worst people in the world.
499. If it’s free, it’s advice; if you pay for it, it’s counseling; if you can use either one, it’s a miracle.
498. Check yo self before you wreck yo self
497. Listen, smile, agree.. Then do whatever you were gonna do anyway.
496. Sometimes you’re the windshield. Sometimes you’re the bug.
495. Respect the man in the ice cream van!
494. Chicks dig scars.
493. Communism is a cow of many; well milked and badly fed.
492. If you don’t have the balls to say it twice, don’t say it once.
491. You lose some and win some, long as the outcome is income.
490. Victory favours neither the righteous nor the wicked. It favours the strong and ready.
489. Perfection lies in the ‘next’ step, Passion lies in the ‘present’ one.
488. There’s nothing less manly than using an iPhone.
487. Let the music play!
486. The problem with the French is that they don’t have a word for entrepreneur.
485. Find a way to get into trouble.
484. Some people never change. Or, they quickly change and then quickly change back.
483. Wars aren’t won by running.
482. Why tap dance if you can tango?
481. Strike First – Strike Hard – No Mercy!

May the odds be ever in your favor.

The President

Posted by blix on July 04, 2020
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The President by W Blix

With the presidential election coming up, it is now time for Our official endorsement.
We feel very strongly that the sitting President should be replased by Joe Biden.

This has less to do with the strengths of Biden, and more to do with the weaknesses of the President. Everyone knew he was not qualified to be President before he even ran. His campaign left no doubt that he would be a disaster in office.

And yet he was elected.
This proves three things:
1. People will vote for anyone as long as they are famous.
2. The two-party system doesn’t work.
3. There are tens of millions of Americans who hate Democrats more than they love America.
His presidency has been a bigger shitshow than anyone could have imagined. His disdain for NATO, for the press and for anyone who doesn’t shower him with praise is truly disturbing. As is his embrace of Putin.
Now it’s time for someone else come in and right the ship. That person is Joe Biden. He was not the first choice, but he is the last one, and the right one.

Hugs and kisses.

Life lessons part XXIV

Posted by blix on June 09, 2020
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Life lessons part XXIV by W Blix

Spittin the truth hot n hard…

480. Tromsø is Norway’s asshole.
479. The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
478. Fuck tha Police
477. People who refer to Marky Mark as “Mark Wahlberg” are the worst people in the world.
476. Why have a comfort zone if you can’t hang out in it all the time?
465. It be tight if everyone was chill to each other.
475. Atmosphere is 80% lighting, the other half is sound and a few smells.
474. You’re not a real Feminist unless you know all the WNBA teams.
473. A communist is like a crocodile: when it opens its mouth you cannot tell whether it is trying to smile or preparing to eat you up.
472. Figure out how to chase your blues away.
471. Get that paper.
470. Opportunity doesn’t make appointments, you have to be strong and ready when it arrives.
469. Get in the pit and try to love someone!
468. You can tell the greatness of a man by what makes him angry.
467. The problem with political jokes is they get elected.
466. If you remember the 60s you weren’t there.
464. Meth is a summer drug.
463. It ain’t how hard you hit, it’s how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done.
462. Dance like you dont need the money.
461. To the end.

Hugs and kisses.