Life lessons part XXIII

Posted by blix on February 29, 2020
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Life lessons part XXIII by W Blix

This one goes out to all Our heroes at the methadone clinics.

460. Knowledge is power, France is bacon.
459. If you have to spend the night in a haunted house you better hope that everyone else there is black guys and sluts.
458. The Progressive Era was neither progressive, nor an era.
457. We must walk consciously only part way toward Our goal, and then leap in the dark to Our success.
456. Dont be sexist. Bitches hate that.
455. Love makes the world go round, but hate makes it less crowded.
454. Fat people are hard to kidnap.
453. When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.
452. You can call it a ‘ball’ all you want, if it doesn’t have air in it, it’s just a glorified rock.
451. Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you’ll be a mile from them, and you’ll have their shoes.
450. We go through life thinking We’re invincible, but the truth is We’re totally vincible.
449. What Orwell failed to predict was that we’d buy the cameras ourselves, and that our biggest fear would be that nobody was watching.
448. Being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.
447. When you look back on your life, what you regret the most are all the people you didn’t kill.
446. A fight not joined is a fight not enjoyed.
445. Listen to your fart.
444. Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.
443. Betamax was the superior format.
442. It doesn’t matter how old you get, buying snacks for a road trip should always look like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100.
441. The Army goes rolling along…

Hugs and kisses.

King!

Posted by blix on February 21, 2020
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King! by W Blix

Happy birthday to our dear King, King Harald.

King and Country!

Life lessons part XXII

Posted by blix on January 26, 2020
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Life lessons part XXII by W Blix

‘Pon the mic We’re the teacher! Spread Our words like a preacher!

440. Any year Tromsø gets relegated is a good year.

439. Dark humor is like a kid with cancer, it never gets old.

438. The cream rises to the top.

437. You gotta keep ’em separated.

436. Be careful where you put your dick and your signature.

435. The best way to predict the future is to create it.

434. Dress shabbily and they remember the dress; dress impeccably and they remember the woman.

433. Socialism is like a dream. Sooner or later you wake up to reality.

432. Don’t sweat the petty things, and don’t pet the sweaty things.

431. You’re never too rich to be white trash.

430. Through strength and readiness We are the masters of our fate.

429. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

428. Death before dishonor!

427. Nothing beats doing meth in a Walmart parking lot.

426. Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves.

425. Listen to your heart.

424. Going cold turkey isn’t as delicious as it sounds.

423. Winners always want the ball when the game’s on the line.

422. Dance isn’t about the fame or or glory, but it’s about telling a story that takes your audience on a journey that ebbs and flows.

421. Secure the perimeter.

Hugs and kisses.

Life lessons part XXI

Posted by blix on July 20, 2019
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Life lessons part XXI by W Blix

And now’s the time to cut the umbilical cord and flush the toilet: It’s life lessons.

420. Crap all over Tromsø at any chance you get.
419. Never use a big word when a diminutive one will do.
418. Keep it rockin’
417. Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.
416. We want you to remember that no punk bastard ever got a gnarley piece of poontang by being sensitive and considerate!
415. Don’t stop when you’re tired, stop when you’re done.
414. Never do anything that you aren’t willing to explain to the paramedics.
413. Communism: Liberation of the people from the burdens of liberty.
412. Find the place you love the most.
411. A billion here, a billion there, and pretty soon you’re talking about real money.
410. Weak and unready men stay on earth, strong and ready men go to the moon.
409. You’ve got to search for the hero inside yourself.
408. There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man.
407. Three things can not hide for long: the Moon, the Sun and the Truth.
406. Never pay full price for anything.
405. The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
404. Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad.
403. Ask yourself, “Well… how did I get here?”
402. The rhythm is gonna get’cha.
401. All you have in this world are your balls and your word, don’t break them for anybody.

To Infinity and Beyond!

203

Posted by blix on May 20, 2019
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203 by W Blix

There are only two things to do in Bodø; live and die.

Farlig åpent la de byen…

Hugs and kisses.

Life lessons part XX

Posted by blix on March 20, 2019
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Life lessons part XX by W Blix

We know the game and we’re gonna play it…

400. Tromsø should be left off maps.
399. The thing that gets you to the show and the thing that keeps you in the show is the ability to deliver a great speech.
398. Put your hair up and square up.
397. “All the cool kidz are doing it” is the best reason to do anything.
396. The dinner table is a war zone of ideas and whoever shouts the loudest is right.
395. There’s no crying in baseball!
394. When life gives you lemons, you sell some of your grandma’s jewelry and you go clubbing.
393. Communism is the corruption of a dream of justice.
392. May the bridges We burn light the way.
391. Fear is the steady hand that unhooks the bra of capitalism.
390. Shallow men believe in luck or in circumstance. Strong and ready men believe in cause and effect.
389. Never put a period where Odin put a comma.
388. The biggest shame imaginable is fathering a son who doesn’t grow up to be a professional athlete.
387. Mountains are there to be climbed.
386. Life is just a constant battle between wanting a six pack and wanting a six pack.
385. You don’t know how good someone’s music really is until you find out they’re a pedophile.
384. Don’t go around breaking young girls’ hearts.
383. One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards.
382. There’s nothing a little dancing on a bar can’t solve.
381. Curse and fight until your heart’s done pumping.

Hugs and kisses.

Congratulations

Posted by blix on February 21, 2019
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Congratulations by W Blix

Happy birthday King Harald!

King and Country!

Life lessons part XIX

Posted by blix on January 23, 2019
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Life lessons part XIX by W Blix

 
Operator won’t you put Us on through, We gotta send Our life lessons down to the internet.

 
380. Tromsø is the worst place in the world.
379. It’s important to start the show with a 9/11 joke, so the audience knows you mean business.
378. Bless the rains down in Africa.
377. Skinny people aren’t funny.
376. Gingers have no soul.
375. We are only as good as the promises we keep.
374. The best thing about being a woman is the prerogative to have a little fun.
373. Communism feeds on aggression, hatred, and the imprisonment of men’s minds and souls.
372. No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder.
371. You gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.
370. You gotta be strong, and you gotta be ready, and you gotta be fresh from the fight.
369. Be a smooth operator.
368. Cometh the hour, cometh the man.
367. Good ideas don’t stand a chance against good bureaucracy.
366. You don’t want too much grace or you won’t be able to stand.
365. Daylight Saving Time is stupid.
364. If at first you don’t succeed, give up.
363. It is truly exhausting being both a lover AND a fighter.
362. Hips don’t lie.
361. Don’t let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.

 
Hugs and kisses.

 

Patriotism

Posted by blix on July 04, 2018
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Patriotism by W Blix

Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official, save exactly to the degree in which he himself stands by the country. It is patriotic to support him insofar as he efficiently serves the country. It is unpatriotic not to oppose him to the exact extent that by inefficiency or otherwise he fails in his duty to stand by the country. In either event, it is unpatriotic not to tell the truth, whether about the president or anyone else.

~Theodore Roosevelt

Hugs and kisses.

 

Life lessons part XVIII

Posted by blix on June 04, 2018
Uncategorized / 2 Comments

Life lessons part XVIII by W Blix

 

You got some learnin’ to do.

 

360. Use ANY excuse not to go to Tromsø.

359. If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.

358. Put your thing down, flip it and reverse it.

357. The standard you walk past is the standard you accept.

356. Forget, but never forgive.

355. Redheaded women are either violent or false, and usually are both.

354. Play it til your fingers bleed.

353. Communism didn’t fall. It was pushed.

352. One if the hardest things in life to learn are which bridges to cross and which bridges to burn.

351. Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

350. It is easier to build strong and ready children than to repair broken men.

349. Girls just wanna have funds.

348. Put the ‘he’ in ‘hero’

347. Sail your vessel till the river runs dry.

346. Dress white, make your flight. Dress brown, never leave town.

345. Life is too short to be living somebody else’s dream.

344. Karma can only be portioned out by the cosmos.

343. Obstacles are challenges for winners and excuses for losers.

342. Dance your troubles away.

341. May you live long and kick ass. But if they ever make you choose between the two, then kick ass.

 

Hugs and kisses.