W Blix

Life lessons part XXXVI by W Blix

As Jesus once said, “Oy, it’s good to be back.”

720. Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

719. There’s no need to be snippy; We’re all under the same pressure.

718. Satisfy your appetite with something spectacular.

717. There’s nothing worse than being outsmarted than someone dumber than you.

716. Champagne for Our real friends, real pain for Our sham friends!

715. Respect your essence.

714. Getting married before your older sister is an aggressive and hateful act in any culture.

713. There is no such thing as a non-dangerous dictator! Like all the venomous snakes, all dictators are dangerous! Then what is the antidote? Antidote is Our love for freedom and Our unshakable determination on the matter of keeping this love!

712. German humor is no laughing matter.

711. There is no higher calling than helping rich people live wherever they want.

710. Get strong and ready or die.

709. All the best romances bloom in the midst of a good siege.

708. You don’t mess with a man’s sandwich.

707. You can’t spell American Dream (Dusty Rhodes) without Eric Andre right in the middle.

706. If you don’t make it, it’s because you suck.

705. The roadie knows what the roadie knows…

704. Just because you don’t care doesn’t mean you don’t understand.

703. Sound trumpets! Let Our bloody colours wave! And either victory, or else a grave.

702. Live to dance!

701. There’s nothing like throwing up out a bus door, going sixty-five miles an hour.

Let this be a lesson to you – kidz never learn.

Life lessons part XXXV by W Blix

Here are some life lessons…

700. People from Tromsø should be shunned.

699. Everything you think you know is just static on the radio.

698. Crunk ain’t dead.

697. It’s not a real workout unless your body is convinced it’s being chased by a lion.

696. Global warming was caused by the ending of the Cold War.

695. When change happens it’s either because people see the light or they feel the fire.

694. Part of being an empowered woman is unapologetically showing the world how much you matter.

693. The one who love power becomes dictator and one who admires power becomes slave.

692. Always say ever.

691. Don’t interest yourself in the why, think more often in terms of the when, sometimes where, but always how much.

690. When the shit goes down you better be strong and ready.

689. You feel young as long as you’re never in a room with people younger than you.

688. The man comes around.

687. Strike a pose, there’s nothing to it.

686. The most disturbing thing about Disneyland is seeing all those smiling people walking around wearing Mickey Mouse’s severed scalp

685. Remember that you are unique, but not necessarily in a good way.

684. Less talk, more rock!

683. You do not enter a race to lose.

682. Dream big and dance a lot.

681. Stand with Ukraine!

Hugs and kisses.

Life lessons part XXXIV by W Blix

These life lessons are going like hotcakes.

680. Keep it sophisticated.

679. There’s nothing more rewarding than reaching a goal you’ve set for yourself.

678. Ballpark food doesn’t count as real food.

677. Stress is very damaging to the epidermis!

676. If you can’t say something bad about a relationship you shouldn’t say anything at all.

675. Stop at the duty free shop.

674. Beautiful women get away with murder.

673. Just do it like a Band-Aid. One motion. Right off!!

672. Finishing an entire book doesn’t prove anything.

671. Just because you’re a communist, doesn’t mean you can’t wear anything nice.

670. Once those gorillas accept you, you got it made in the shade.

669. Let’s face it, without rules there’s chaos.

668. Eating a block of cheese is a bachelor paradise.

667. Poise counts!

666. Don’t mess with the Devils!

665. There isn’t anything wrong with being gay.

664. The worst part of beeing blind is not being able to tell if there are bugs in your food.

663. Stuff your sorries in a sack!

662. Birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year’s gone by and how little we’ve grown. No matter how desperate We are that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake We know it’s not to be.

661. Make sure you always have forces in the Ukraine.

That seems about right.

Life lessons part XXXIII by W Blix

Better put your shades on, honey. We’re bringing the heat!

660. Tromsø is just awful.

659. If you don’t read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.

658. Da game is to be sold, not to be told.

657. Don’t follow your dreams. Just ask where they’re goin’, and hook up with them later.

656. It is fun to have fun, but you have to know how.

655. Make fire or get fired.

654. Gotta keep your hair, heels, and standards high!

653. If We don’t stand up for others when they’re persecuted, We lose the right to complain when it’s done to Us.

652. You congratulate the groom. You offer the bride best wishes.

651. It is better to piss in the sink, than to sink in the piss.

650. Hardships don’t wait until you’re strong and ready.

649. Cool guys don’t look at explosions.

648. Men argue. Nature acts.

647. Between the mighty and the modest, truth is the great leveler.

646. It’s hard being pretty and white.

645. Act like you belong.

644. You’re doomed if you don’t have a killer catchphrase.

643. Live to win!

642. The answer to “Shall We dance?” is always “Yes!”

641. The Ukraine is strong!

Hugs and kisses.

Jubilations by W Blix

Happy birthday to His Majesty King Harald!

King and Country!

Life lessons part XXXII by W Blix

Come on, and bring your jukebox money.

640. To be in Tromsø is to hate it.

639. Intelligent comedy is limited by it’s audience.

638. To be a true player, you haffi know how fi play.

637. It’s hard to be humble. When you’re perfect in every way.

636. If you want people to like you, just go along with what they say and have fun.

635. Though hope is frail, it’s hard to kill.

634. A woman’s hair is her crowning glory.

633. Communist gonna communist.

632. The power of love is a curious thing. Make a one man weep, make another man sing.

631. A business is like an ocean. You just got to surf it.

630. Strength and readiness doesn’t assure victory, it assures confidence.

629. Take your passion, and make it happen.

628. Tampa is the Florida of Florida.

627. It’s not enough to say ‘I don’t give a shit’ you have to fucking show it!

626. Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.

625. It’s five O’clock somewhere.

624. Stupid risks are what make life worth living.

623. To always win, you always need to be hungry!

622. Dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free

621. YOU BETTER GET YOUR HEAD AND YOUR ASS WIRED TOGETHER!!

signed sealed delivered

Life lessons part XXXI by W Blix

Sing it, sister!

620. Sometimes even a picnic’s no picnic.

619. Often times in life there are problems, and just as often there are solutions. Booyaka!

618. If you show up with Ring Dings and Pepsi, you become the biggest hit of the party.

617. Love is spice with many tastes. A dizzying array of textures… and moments.

616. When you ask someone about their relationship and they touch their face, you know it’s not going too well.

615. Get it on with your bad self!

614. It’s hard enough to meet a woman you dislike, much less like.

613. The most unattractive world leader of all time is Brezhnev.

612. If it wasn’t for the toilet, there would be no books.

611. You don’t sell the steak, you sell the sizzle!

610. Talk the talk and walk the walk.

609. It’s tough keeping your feet dry when you’re strolling through a dewy meadow.

608. Men can sit through the most boring movie if there’s even the slightest possibility that a woman will take her top off.

607. Fight dirty.

606. Dress based on mood.

605. Thou who cureth, can maketh ill.

604. The first thing you’re gonna need is a driver.

603. We’re living in a society!

602. You don’t wanna meet the people that are in the market for a used van.

601. You gotta intimidate when you’re on the mound.

Happy, Pappy?

Glory waits for no man part II: This time it’s personal by W Blix

Bodø/Glimt has won the Elite Series for the second time in their 105 year history. This, of course, is the greatest achievement in the history of organized sports. Even greater than last year!

We have to admit We were confident this would happen.

The football the boys have produced all season has been very good.

Hopefully they’ll perform even better next season.

An amazing time for all Glimt fans!

Victorious hugs and kisses.

Life lessons part XXX: Sweet Sixteen Edition by W Blix

You’re in the Blix Zone!

600. Have a triple X old time!

599. Surf the net. There’s a lot of information there.

598. Express yourself

597. Send them to charm school.

596. Learn as little as you can. ‘Cause when you know things, people ask you to do things. And then, everyone starts coming to you with their problems.

595. You gotta roll with the punches to get to what’s real.

594. Make sure you have on a smashing blouse.

593. The epitome of white privilege is the luxury of believing that real communism has never been tried.

592. They can’t smell tequila on your breath on a video conference call.

591. The boy with the cold hard cash is always mister right.

590. There are two things we should always be 1. strong and 2. ready. When you are strong, you are always ready and when you are ready you usually realize that you are strong. Waiting for perfection is not an answer, one cannot say “I will be ready when I am perfect” because then you will never be ready, rather one must say “I am strong and I am ready just like this right now, how and who I am.

589. Find him fast. Kill him slow.

588. Anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.

587. If you are going to sin, sin against Odin, not the bureaucracy. Odin will forgive you but the bureaucracy won’t.

586. If you interrupt a wedding, the speech better be good.

585. He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life.

584. Book a one-way ticket to flavortown!

583. It doesn’t matter how many times you have failed to win it. The only thing that matters is winning it!

582. Some dance to remember, some dance to forget.

581. Kick some ass, get the girl, and try to look dope while you do it.

We live for this shit.

Life lessons part XXIX by W Blix
Nineteen in the clip and one in the hole. W Blix is about to make some bodies turn cold…

580. Let your hatred Tromsø for fuel you.

579. It’s easier to fool someone than it is to convince them they’ve been fooled.

578. Real Gs move in silence like lasagna.

577. If you keep screaming your name, it forces the assailant to acknowledge you as a human.

576. Nothing good ever happens on a playground near the Vatican.

575. No guts, no glory!

574. Assert your dominance by putting a few decorative pillows in your husband’s truck.

573. Socialism, communism, and fascism are the political manifestations of unachievable ideals, carried to genocidal extremes.

572. When the thought of someone’s decapitated head upsets you, that is love.

571. A key component to enjoying free time is money.

570. Put the pussy on the chainwax!

569. If one avoids the hard sciences, college is pretty easy.

568. You can’t shampoo away sin.

567. America needs another big lake.

566. Live large.

565. LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!!!

564. Throwing acid is wrong, in some people’s eyes.

563. It is deeply satisfying to win a prize in front of a lot of people.

562. You gotta funk it up until it knocks you down. And when you’ve funked enough, make sure you pass it around.

561. Roll the dice. Feel the fear in your enemy’s eyes.
Hugs and kisses.