W Blix

V by W Blix

On this day We are celebrating five years in the blogosphere.

They said this day would never come. They said said Our early success couldn’t be maintained. They said Our hard-hitting bluntness would be to much for the plebs to handle. They said We wouldn’t last. Boy did We prove them wrong.

What makes this achievement extra special is that, unlike everyone else on the interweb, We have never deleted anything. We believe very strongly that a man is only as good as his word. Stand by it. Live by it. Die by it.

Of course We would never have gotten this far without the steadfast support of Our loyal legions of readers from around the world. Thank you all!

North to the Future

Big hugs and kisses.

For His Majesty by W Blix

Happy birthday King Harald.

King and Country!

Life Lessons Part II by W Blix

After the roaring success of Life Lessons Part I, We thought We would attempt the much dreaded sequel.

40. Tromsø Idrettslag sucks!

39. Lessons learned today are forgotten tomorrow.

38. Damn it feels good to be a gangsta!

37. Stress will kill you.

36. You can’t be a non-conformist if you don’t drink coffee.

35. Lady Liberty is a proud woman.

34. Learn to Fart.

33. Nothing tastes as sweet as pinko commie blood.

32. There’s always room for jello.

31. What good is money if it can’t inspire terror in your fellow man?

30. Don’t mess with Oprah.

29. If you liked it then you should-a put a ring on it.

28. The glory is not in never failing, but in rising every time you fall.

27. Statistics can be used to prove anything.

26. Play through the pain.

25. Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

24. A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man.

23. People like lists.

22. Dance like nobody’s watching.

21. An episode of Walker, Texas Ranger can change your life.

Hugs and kisses.

The W Blix – Second Annual – End of the Year – Year In Review – Extravaganza – 2009 Edition – by W Blix

Uh, did anything happen this year?

The Good

Help Us out here, there’s got to be something…

The Bad

Tromsø didn’t get relegated. Fuck!

Tromsø did better than Glimt. There is no God!

Glimt sold Trond Olsen. See The Ugly.

The new user interface is awful. Sort it out SI!

The Ugly

Glimt was relegated. This is starting to become a habit.

Have a gr8 new year.

Hugs and kisses.

Electrifying by W Blix

A few days remaining till the Norwegian Parliamentary election. Do you have election fever yet?

So far the campaign has been quite boring. The only issue anyone seems to care about is who should serve in His Majesties Cabinet.

If the communists win (Dog forbid) they will no doubt continue with their policy of turning Norway into the Cambodian killing fields.

If the non-communists prevail no one knows what the fudge will happen. It seems these boys and girls just can’t play nice.

Blix feels that the most likely outcome is a pure Conservative government, backed by the Liberals, the Christian Democrats and the Progressives. This would be the best solution for the country.

There are a few requirements for this to happen though; First the non-communists will need a majority in Parliament. Second the party leaders will need to quit acting like little bitches. Third the Conservative party block should be fairly large.

The more votes the Conservatives get the more likely a non-communists government is.

Any vote for any other party is a vote for the pinkos.

Anybody who doesn’t vote forfeits their right to complain about anything for the next four years.

Hugs and kisses.

The Republic of Norway by W Blix

Reader discretion is advised.

The Royal engagement in Sweden has sparked debate over the form of government, with republicans crawling out of the mud to spew their hateful propaganda on TV.
Sadly this phenomena is well known in Norway. Anytime the Royals do anything, the media is flooded with republicans explaining why this is bad and why we need to ditch the Monarchy altogether.

The number of people who say they think Norway should be a republic is tiny. In fact it’s about as many as would like to reinstitute the death penalty. Yet there is no death penalty debate in Norway.
So how do we explain this? Two issues with the same popular support; one the source of frequent media coverage and lengthy debate, the other completely ignored…
Could it possibly be because the Norwegian media is made up of treacherous pinko commies who won’t stop until everything that is good and pure in the world has been ass raped, spit on and left for dead?

In order to divide and conquer, we should classify Norwegian republicans into one of four groups:

First group. Those who think the Monarchy is somewhat antiquated, but don’t really care one way or another. This group is largely harmless, but keep your eyes open.

Second group. People who think inherited power is unfair. Republic is more “democratic”. Their left leaning voting would suggest they don’t really care that much about democracy. Should be watched closely at all times.

Third group. Think the Norwegian people would actually benefit from a change to a republic. These guys are deranged, and should be institutionalized.

Forth group. The Die Hard commies who are willing to do what is needed to topple the Monarchy. The big secret in Norwegian politics is that there actually isn’t any legal way to change the form of government. The only way to do it is by armed revolution. Since the goal of this group is a bloody civil war, the solution is clear: Drag them into the streets and shoot them in the back of the head.
Verkställ ordern!!

It is sad that the Norwegian media is so left leaning, and that the Country is full of traitors.

All We can promise is that as long as there is a breath left in Us, We will be standing guard outside the Palace.

King and Country!

The Kingdom of Norway by W Blix

On this glorious day, we the people honor our King.
How blessed we are to be ruled by a Monarch who’s heart, mind and spine make us the envy of all nations. A shining village on a mountain.

Happy birthday Your Majesty!

King and Country!

Life Lessons by W Blix

On Our years on this big rotating soccer ball We like to call Earth, We have obtained much knowledge. As it is the dawning of the age of 2009, We thought We would dispense these nuggets for the benefit of Our loyal readers.
So here are W Blix’s top 20 life lessons, in list form:

20. Tromsø sucks!

19. Anyone who works as an author, or artist, or on a newspaper, or in a school, are communists.

18. You gotta fight for your right to party.

17. If something is worth doing, it’s worth doing right.

16. When you control the mail, you control information.

15. He who smelt it dealt it.

14. Remember the Falklands!

13. Better dead than red.

12. Don’t let the bastards get you down.

11. Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.

10. Never fight a land war in Asia.

9. Any man who knows how to properly fold a sweater, is gay.

8. You should hammer your iron when it is glowing hot.

7. Winners never quit and quitters never win.

6. Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both.

5. Gotta support the team.

4. The truth is out there.

3. It’s not worth winning if you can’t win big!

2. You gotta dance with the girl you brung.

1. Germans love David Hasselhoff.

Hugs and kisses.

The W Blix – First Annual – End of the Year – Year In Review – Extravaganza – 2008 Edition – by W Blix

The Good

McCain won the nomination. What’s eight years among friends?

Glimt did better than expected. Put that in your pipe and smoke it!

The new 3D match engine isn’t half bad. And the world will never be the same.

Åge Hareide resigned. About fucking time.

Chinese Democracy was released. They said this day would never come.

The Bad

Tromsø didn’t get relegated. Fuck!

Tromsø did better than Glimt. There is no God!

The National Team played like crap all year. Absolutely disgraceful.

Apparently there is some sort of financial crisis. I blame the democrats.

The Ugly

McCain lost the election. All I can say is:

1.White liberal guilt is a powerful thing.
2.When are people going to learn, Democracy doesn’t work.

Have a happy new year.

Hugs and kisses.

Live Free or Die by W Blix

The good people of New Hampshire have spoken; they want John McCain to be the next President of the United States of America.
As our dear readers will know, W Blix supports Senator McCain’s bid for the White House. He is by far the best candidate for the job. While people in Washington were divided into two camps on the Iraq issue: the Everything is Finers, and the Cut Bait and Runners; ONE MAN had the wisdom, courage and strength to stand up and call for a change. He knew the strategy in Iraq wasn’t working, so he broke ranks to call for more troops. This made him unpopular, but he kept fighting and finally got his way. The troop surge or McCain Doctrine as some call it is a monumental success. ONE MAN was right all along. The people of the Granite State understands this.

Surely this new momentum will carry us through the primaries and on to the White House.

Mac is Back!
Hugs and kisses.