W Blix

Life lessons part XXVI by W Blix

Here’s to feelin’ good all the time.

520. Get some rubber duckies.

519. There’s more to life than making shallow, fairly obvious observations.

518. Weddings are a great place to meet chicks.

517. “We have to talk” are the four worst words in the english language.

516. Generally speaking, you don’t need any extra incentive to murder a dry cleaner.

515. Mother Nature’s a mad scientist.

514. Breaking up is like knocking over a Pepsi machine. You can’t do it in one push. You gotta rock it back and forth a few times, and then it goes over.

513. If you’ve got means and ability, that’s a pretty good combination.

512. You gotta have a buffer zone.

511. It’s not enough to get there. you gotta make good time.

510. It’s not the size of the opponent, it’s, the ferocity.

509. It’s tough keeping your feet dry when you’re kicking in a skull.

508. There’s nothing more pathetic than a grown man who’s afraid of a woman.

507. Everything comes down to toilet paper.

506. Scoring some big points with the man upstairs is what it’s all about.

505. Respect a good coma.

504. Appreciate the erotic qualities of the salted cured meats.

503. The toll road of denial is a long and dangerous one. The price? Your soul!

502. Swing with the best of them.

501. When the naysayers “nay” you pick up your pace. You say nothing’s going to stop Us so get out of Our face. We’re having adventures all over the place…

Serenity now!

Glory waits for no man by W Blix

Bodø/Glimt has won the Elite Series for the first time in their 104 year history. This, of course, is the greatest achievement in the history of organized sports.

We have to admit We never thought We would see the day.

The football the boys have produced all season has been truly spectacular. Had it not been for the pandemic, they’d definitely won the Cup and the Europa League.

Hopefully they’ll perform even better next season.

An amazing time for all Glimt fans!

Victorious hugs and kisses.

Life lessons part XXV by W Blix

Do you have the time to listen to Us whine – about nothing and everything all at once?

500. People who support Tromsø Idrettslag are the worst people in the world.
499. If it’s free, it’s advice; if you pay for it, it’s counseling; if you can use either one, it’s a miracle.
498. Check yo self before you wreck yo self
497. Listen, smile, agree.. Then do whatever you were gonna do anyway.
496. Sometimes you’re the windshield. Sometimes you’re the bug.
495. Respect the man in the ice cream van!
494. Chicks dig scars.
493. Communism is a cow of many; well milked and badly fed.
492. If you don’t have the balls to say it twice, don’t say it once.
491. You lose some and win some, long as the outcome is income.
490. Victory favours neither the righteous nor the wicked. It favours the strong and ready.
489. Perfection lies in the ‘next’ step, Passion lies in the ‘present’ one.
488. There’s nothing less manly than using an iPhone.
487. Let the music play!
486. The problem with the French is that they don’t have a word for entrepreneur.
485. Find a way to get into trouble.
484. Some people never change. Or, they quickly change and then quickly change back.
483. Wars aren’t won by running.
482. Why tap dance if you can tango?
481. Strike First – Strike Hard – No Mercy!

May the odds be ever in your favor.

The President by W Blix

With the presidential election coming up, it is now time for Our official endorsement.
We feel very strongly that the sitting President should be replased by Joe Biden.

This has less to do with the strengths of Biden, and more to do with the weaknesses of the President. Everyone knew he was not qualified to be President before he even ran. His campaign left no doubt that he would be a disaster in office.

And yet he was elected.
This proves three things:
1. People will vote for anyone as long as they are famous.
2. The two-party system doesn’t work.
3. There are tens of millions of Americans who hate Democrats more than they love America.
His presidency has been a bigger shitshow than anyone could have imagined. His disdain for NATO, for the press and for anyone who doesn’t shower him with praise is truly disturbing. As is his embrace of Putin.
Now it’s time for someone else come in and right the ship. That person is Joe Biden. He was not the first choice, but he is the last one, and the right one.

Hugs and kisses.

Life lessons part XXIV by W Blix

Spittin the truth hot n hard…

480. Tromsø is Norway’s asshole.
479. The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
478. Fuck tha Police
477. People who refer to Marky Mark as “Mark Wahlberg” are the worst people in the world.
476. Why have a comfort zone if you can’t hang out in it all the time?
465. It be tight if everyone was chill to each other.
475. Atmosphere is 80% lighting, the other half is sound and a few smells.
474. You’re not a real Feminist unless you know all the WNBA teams.
473. A communist is like a crocodile: when it opens its mouth you cannot tell whether it is trying to smile or preparing to eat you up.
472. Figure out how to chase your blues away.
471. Get that paper.
470. Opportunity doesn’t make appointments, you have to be strong and ready when it arrives.
469. Get in the pit and try to love someone!
468. You can tell the greatness of a man by what makes him angry.
467. The problem with political jokes is they get elected.
466. If you remember the 60s you weren’t there.
464. Meth is a summer drug.
463. It ain’t how hard you hit, it’s how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done.
462. Dance like you dont need the money.
461. To the end.

Hugs and kisses.

Life lessons part XXIII by W Blix

This one goes out to all Our heroes at the methadone clinics.

460. Knowledge is power, France is bacon.
459. If you have to spend the night in a haunted house you better hope that everyone else there is black guys and sluts.
458. The Progressive Era was neither progressive, nor an era.
457. We must walk consciously only part way toward Our goal, and then leap in the dark to Our success.
456. Dont be sexist. Bitches hate that.
455. Love makes the world go round, but hate makes it less crowded.
454. Fat people are hard to kidnap.
453. When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.
452. You can call it a ‘ball’ all you want, if it doesn’t have air in it, it’s just a glorified rock.
451. Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you’ll be a mile from them, and you’ll have their shoes.
450. We go through life thinking We’re invincible, but the truth is We’re totally vincible.
449. What Orwell failed to predict was that we’d buy the cameras ourselves, and that our biggest fear would be that nobody was watching.
448. Being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.
447. When you look back on your life, what you regret the most are all the people you didn’t kill.
446. A fight not joined is a fight not enjoyed.
445. Listen to your fart.
444. Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.
443. Betamax was the superior format.
442. It doesn’t matter how old you get, buying snacks for a road trip should always look like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100.
441. The Army goes rolling along…

Hugs and kisses.

King! by W Blix

Happy birthday to our dear King, King Harald.

King and Country!

Life lessons part XXII by W Blix

‘Pon the mic We’re the teacher! Spread Our words like a preacher!

440. Any year Tromsø gets relegated is a good year.

439. Dark humor is like a kid with cancer, it never gets old.

438. The cream rises to the top.

437. You gotta keep ’em separated.

436. Be careful where you put your dick and your signature.

435. The best way to predict the future is to create it.

434. Dress shabbily and they remember the dress; dress impeccably and they remember the woman.

433. Socialism is like a dream. Sooner or later you wake up to reality.

432. Don’t sweat the petty things, and don’t pet the sweaty things.

431. You’re never too rich to be white trash.

430. Through strength and readiness We are the masters of our fate.

429. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

428. Death before dishonor!

427. Nothing beats doing meth in a Walmart parking lot.

426. Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves.

425. Listen to your heart.

424. Going cold turkey isn’t as delicious as it sounds.

423. Winners always want the ball when the game’s on the line.

422. Dance isn’t about the fame or or glory, but it’s about telling a story that takes your audience on a journey that ebbs and flows.

421. Secure the perimeter.

Hugs and kisses.

Life lessons part XXI by W Blix

And now’s the time to cut the umbilical cord and flush the toilet: It’s life lessons.

420. Crap all over Tromsø at any chance you get.
419. Never use a big word when a diminutive one will do.
418. Keep it rockin’
417. Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.
416. We want you to remember that no punk bastard ever got a gnarley piece of poontang by being sensitive and considerate!
415. Don’t stop when you’re tired, stop when you’re done.
414. Never do anything that you aren’t willing to explain to the paramedics.
413. Communism: Liberation of the people from the burdens of liberty.
412. Find the place you love the most.
411. A billion here, a billion there, and pretty soon you’re talking about real money.
410. Weak and unready men stay on earth, strong and ready men go to the moon.
409. You’ve got to search for the hero inside yourself.
408. There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man.
407. Three things can not hide for long: the Moon, the Sun and the Truth.
406. Never pay full price for anything.
405. The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
404. Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad.
403. Ask yourself, “Well… how did I get here?”
402. The rhythm is gonna get’cha.
401. All you have in this world are your balls and your word, don’t break them for anybody.

To Infinity and Beyond!

203 by W Blix

There are only two things to do in Bodø; live and die.