Life lessons part XXIII by W Blix
This one goes out to all Our heroes at the methadone clinics.
460. Knowledge is power, France is bacon.
459. If you have to spend the night in a haunted house you better hope that everyone else there is black guys and sluts.
458. The Progressive Era was neither progressive, nor an era.
457. We must walk consciously only part way toward Our goal, and then leap in the dark to Our success.
456. Dont be sexist. Bitches hate that.
455. Love makes the world go round, but hate makes it less crowded.
454. Fat people are hard to kidnap.
453. When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.
452. You can call it a ‘ball’ all you want, if it doesn’t have air in it, it’s just a glorified rock.
451. Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you’ll be a mile from them, and you’ll have their shoes.
450. We go through life thinking We’re invincible, but the truth is We’re totally vincible.
449. What Orwell failed to predict was that we’d buy the cameras ourselves, and that our biggest fear would be that nobody was watching.
448. Being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.
447. When you look back on your life, what you regret the most are all the people you didn’t kill.
446. A fight not joined is a fight not enjoyed.
445. Listen to your fart.
444. Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.
443. Betamax was the superior format.
442. It doesn’t matter how old you get, buying snacks for a road trip should always look like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100.
441. The Army goes rolling along…
Hugs and kisses.