Big congratulations to HM King Harald on turning seventy five today!

King and Country!

Take heed.

80. Never trust a Tromsøværing.

79. Life is an STD with a 100% mortality rate.

78. Chicago hates Cena.

77. Make sure you never end up with a redheaded stepchild.

76. Blame Canadia.

75. It’s your tactics.

74. You will know them by the beer they drink.

73. Never play a first person shooter on a console.

72. Obey your master.

71. Greed is good.

70. If we are strong and ready, our strenght and readiness will speak for itself.

69. If you didn’t see it on TV, it didn’t happen.

68. Circumstances do not make the man, they reveal him.

67. It’s all fun and games till you look like a duchebag on TV.

66. Buy land, Odin’s not making any more of it.

65. Pray to Jesus and play the lotto.

64. Don’t be just another brick in the wall.

63. It comes a time in every man’s life when he’s gotta slap on a dress and jump in the lifeboat.

62. Every day brings a chance for you to draw in a breath, kick off your shoes, and dance.

61. Be a good Hulkamaniac.

Hugs and kisses.

There aren’t many happy, feel-good stories in the news these days, but reports that Osama Bin Laden has been eliminated, is just about the best news anyone could ever ask for.

We remember vividly the horrific images of September 11, 2001. We remember the sinking feeling in Our stomach as We realized it wasn’t a movie or a dream. We remember the heroic actions of the passengers of United 93. We remember New Yorkers desperately searching for their loved ones. We remember thinking how the world has changed forever. We remember one word reverberating in Our head: Vengeance.

We were starting to think it wasn’t gonna happen. But now Bin Laden has got what was coming to him. They say revenge is a dish best served cold. We don’t know about that, but it sure as heck tastes pretty darn good.

In addition to being great news in itself, it also sends a strong message to Our enemies: No matter who you are, no matter who helps you, no matter were you go, no matter were you hide; We will get you!

One way or another.

Our compliments to President Obama for doing what his predecessor could not. And a big thank you to the heroes involved in the operation.

It is a great day!

Hugs and kisses.

Happpy Birthday King.

King and Country!

Back by popular demand.

60. Tromsø is the root of all evil.

59. The road to Heck is paved with good intentions.

58. Norway hates Cena

57. We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

56. You don’t shoot a guy in the dick.

55. Irish need not apply

54. Women don’t respect salad eaters.

53. You can’t go wrong with vampires.

52. Improvise. Adapt. Overcome.

51. Whoever has the most money when they die, wins.

50. It’s not enough to be just strong or just ready, you have to be strong AND ready.

49. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

48. By standing by our choices and opinions, we are more whole and safer.

47. Ride straight.

46. Banking establishments are more dangerous than standing armies.

45. Sweep the leg!

44. If you give a hooker money to go and get cocaine, she will never come back with the cocaine.

43. Celebrities are better than everyone else.

42. Dancin’ for the man just ain’t where it’s at.

41. Ask yourself: What would Burt Reynolds do?

Hugs and kisses.

On this day We are celebrating five years in the blogosphere.

They said this day would never come. They said said Our early success couldn’t be maintained. They said Our hard-hitting bluntness would be to much for the plebs to handle. They said We wouldn’t last. Boy did We prove them wrong.

What makes this achievement extra special is that, unlike everyone else on the interweb, We have never deleted anything. We believe very strongly that a man is only as good as his word. Stand by it. Live by it. Die by it.

Of course We would never have gotten this far without the steadfast support of Our loyal legions of readers from around the world. Thank you all!

North to the Future

Big hugs and kisses.

Happy birthday King Harald.

King and Country!

After the roaring success of Life Lessons Part I, We thought We would attempt the much dreaded sequel.

40. Tromsø Idrettslag sucks!

39. Lessons learned today are forgotten tomorrow.

38. Damn it feels good to be a gangsta!

37. Stress will kill you.

36. You can’t be a non-conformist if you don’t drink coffee.

35. Lady Liberty is a proud woman.

34. Learn to Fart.

33. Nothing tastes as sweet as pinko commie blood.

32. There’s always room for jello.

31. What good is money if it can’t inspire terror in your fellow man?

30. Don’t mess with Oprah.

29. If you liked it then you should-a put a ring on it.

28. The glory is not in never failing, but in rising every time you fall.

27. Statistics can be used to prove anything.

26. Play through the pain.

25. Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

24. A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man.

23. People like lists.

22. Dance like nobody’s watching.

21. An episode of Walker, Texas Ranger can change your life.

Hugs and kisses.

Uh, did anything happen this year?

The Good

Help Us out here, there’s got to be something…

The Bad

Tromsø didn’t get relegated. Fuck!

Tromsø did better than Glimt. There is no God!

Glimt sold Trond Olsen. See The Ugly.

The new user interface is awful. Sort it out SI!

The Ugly

Glimt was relegated. This is starting to become a habit.

Have a gr8 new year.

Hugs and kisses.

A few days remaining till the Norwegian Parliamentary election. Do you have election fever yet?

So far the campaign has been quite boring. The only issue anyone seems to care about is who should serve in His Majesties Cabinet.

If the communists win (Dog forbid) they will no doubt continue with their policy of turning Norway into the Cambodian killing fields.

If the non-communists prevail no one knows what the fudge will happen. It seems these boys and girls just can’t play nice.

Blix feels that the most likely outcome is a pure Conservative government, backed by the Liberals, the Christian Democrats and the Progressives. This would be the best solution for the country.

There are a few requirements for this to happen though; First the non-communists will need a majority in Parliament. Second the party leaders will need to quit acting like little bitches. Third the Conservative party block should be fairly large.

The more votes the Conservatives get the more likely a non-communists government is.

Any vote for any other party is a vote for the pinkos.

Anybody who doesn’t vote forfeits their right to complain about anything for the next four years.

Hugs and kisses.